Contradictory to popular belief, women like to fix things more than men. Just look at Olivia Pope, she’s a professional fixer for goodness sake! But unlike Ms. Pope, most women make one project their absolute favorite – men.
Have you found the one? Are you even interested? Well, I can save you some trouble if you are currently searching – You will never find the one. Let me explain what I mean.
See, there are a lot of people actively looking for the one but they are actually willing to settle for anyone. If you ask people to describe their ideal partner, I’m almost willing to bet that it’ll sound more like they are describing a car than an actual person. “I want them to be pretty, fun, exciting, etc. etc.” Don’t even get me started on all of the endless apps and websites that can help you in your partner search.
Let’s say that you do find the one person that you think you’d want to be with for the rest of your life or you use some outside help to get you matched up. What will you do then? Will the relationship be perfect because the person matches all of the requirements you listed in your search?
My guess, is probably not.
Something I’ve noticed is that we tend to get so caught up in the search for the one that we forget to prepare for when we actually do find them. In order to keep this person that you’ve been looking for and trying to find, you have to be certain that you bring some kind of value to the relationship as well. Are you as ‘pretty’ as the person you said you wanted to find? Are you as fun to be around? Do you offer any non-physical attributes like goals, intelligent conversation, motivation, compassion, etc?
It’s perfectly fine to have an idea of exactly what you want in a partner, but you also have to keep in mind that relationships are about both people. You have to be willing to prepare yourself mentally, physically, and emotionally to handle the relationship that you want in the future. You may get lucky and find someone that could be perfect for you, but if you haven’t done your due diligence to give yourself a chance at being perfect for them as well, then you may as well prepare yourself for heartbreak later on down the road.
Honestly, I’m not trying to discourage you from looking. It’s fine to look, it’s actually a good idea. My point is that you have to make sure you’re not so focused on the search that you forget the most important thing is making sure that you are prepared. You have to ask yourself the hard questions like: “Am I over my last relationship or am I still carrying baggage?” “Do I have anything to offer in a relationship? Do I even know what I want?”
Just think about it for a while. And hey, sometimes, the moment you stop looking for love is the very moment you’ll find it. [click to tweet this quote]
As a man, I’ll tell you that we can often be a real pain when it comes to relationships. Most women probably feel like we are never satisfied, and truthfully, most of you are probably right. By nature, a lot of men are indeed difficult to be in relationships with, but luckily for you, the vast majority of us are relatively easy to figure out.